It's fuckin bullshit how mike can still walk around in my town and not be stopped by a single cop!! The mother fucker raped me and he is getting away with it. If i see him i'm going to kill him and that's a promise.

    The happy world

The happy world I once knew and loved has grown so cold and so harsh. I no longer live a happy life thanks to mike veldhiuse. That Halloween day he took a lot from me. I’m not as happy as I used to be. Sometimes I can’t stand to have a guy touch me because of what mike did. I have this feeling that mike is happy that he hurt me so badly that I want to end my own life. I’ve only seen him once or twice since this all happened and he made me so mad that I just wanted to beat the crap out of him, but I was too scared to hit him because I thought he would hit me back but twice as hard as I hit him.
Is it bad when your own parents don’t believe you when you tell them that you have been raped? When my mom and dad found out about it they just started yelling at me for it. They told me that I had no right in getting the school involved in all this. Well guess what, I had no choice!!!! It was either tell the school or have one of my friends go to jail for something his older brother did to me.
To this day I know that my parents still don’t believe me. They tell me that they do but after talking to them about it all you can tell they don’t. The only reason my mom tells me that she believes me is because she doesn’t want me to run away again. I put her and my dad threw a lot when I left and part of me is really glad because now they can see what I’m going threw every day that mike isn’t in jail. I have no clue where mike is at right now and for all I know he could be watching me every day and night somehow. I have talked to my parents about mike and slowly they are starting to believe me about it all but I don’t know if they are really ever going to fully believe me about mike at all or not.
I try to let it all go but some days it’s really hard to do. My friends always want to go bowling and would like me go with them. I go with them only because I like to be with my friends, but part of me always gets scared as I’m walking to the bowling alley with them even though I know I’m not alone this time. I can see the bowling alley from my bedroom window and ever day I look out the window I see the spot where we were standing before Brandon left. Some days it makes me cry and others I just get so mad that I want to kill mike for what he did to me. He’s so fuckin lucky that he didn’t get me pregnant like he did the other girl that he raped. I don’t know what I would have done if he would have. I do know that I would have had the kid and put mikes name on the birth certificate but other then that I really don’t know how I would get threw life as a teen mother. I would have to finish school and get a job to help support myself and my baby.